Pentecost 18

Pent 18, yr b, 2024

A capable wife who can find?

At least at first glance, and I’m sure some of you giggled internally when hearing the opening of this reading.  Often touted as a guidepost to the perfect wife or perfect woman this passage can be used as a tool of subjugation and harm.

Yet what do we really know about this passage?  What did we hear after that highly charged first line?  How was it heard by the men? By the women? By the children among us?  And of course how was it heard when it was written.

Proverbs is not a very popular book of the bible in our time and place. I don’t know many people who crack open their bible to peruse proverbs. In fact, in the lectionary’s 3 year cycle the Book of Proverbs only comes up 5 times.

So, what is this book about?  The book of proverbs is kinda like an ancient, biblical parenting guide.  It is a collection of wisdom meant to be used to teach the next generation.  Specifically, to teach growing boys how to be good men.  How to obey God’s law, uphold the family honour, be the leader of a strong and secure household and be an upstanding citizen.  Of course, these are by the standards of Ancient Israel.

It’s kinda funny, but when you read proverbs as a teaching tool for boys, a lot of the same wisdom is still needed now.  There is discussion about self control and discipline, financial management, dealing with alcohol and of course, girls.

It seems that the final lesson, from a mother to son in Proverbs was how to choose a wife.  Not a wife that is merely capable, as this translation conveys, but a wife that is formidable. That is what this mother is teaching her son.  That what really matters, what is really worth isn’t what is one the outside, but what is on the inside.  What a man should really be looking for is wisdom.

Something that the disciples could be, should be looking for.

We read in the gospel that Jesus was teaching his disciples about his forthcoming death and resurrection.  Something that it may have been wise to listen to, however, it was a difficult teaching about self sacrifice, about redemption.  So, instead the disciples turned their attention to arguing, comparing and trying to one up each other…which of the disciples was indeed the greatest of the disciples.

“Whoever wishes to be first, must be last and servant of all” Christ responds, contrary to all conventional wisdom and likely baffling his disciples.  I’m thinking the disciples forgot about the book of proverbs.  After all Proverbs 31 isn’t simply about finding a good wife, it is about seeking wisdom, and the woman of proverbs 31 displays much wisdom. 

She is God fearing, trustworthy, productive, generous to the vulnerable and those in her care, and she exemplifies wisdom, kindness and intelligence.  All wise traits that are to be encouraged in any faithful person.  Yet, which seem more ideal than real. 

“A capable partner, who can find?”  In our epistle we find James asking the same question…“Who is wise and understanding among you?”  Wisdom is still thin on the ground apparently.

“Show by your good life that your works are done with gentleness born of wisdom.”

As are the good works of the ideal in proverbs.

“but if you have bitter envy and selfish ambition…such wisdom does not come from above”  It may not come from above, but envy seems far more prevalent than wisdom.

Who is greatest ?  Not a debate encouraged by God, yet a debate so many of us engage in.  Who is better than who.

Now this debate has moved beyond person to person, in our time we have to deal with social media.  Where I find people display not reality or truth, but idealized, and exaggerated images of their lives.  It’s a globally accessible version of keeping up with the Joneses, but with a green screen and photo shop.  Who is better? Do I measure up?  Why isn’t my life like that?

We tend towards listening to the voices which earlier chapters of Proverbs call ‘honeyed lips and smooth speech’.  The words of the world around us, insisting that our lives should be grand.  That the car makes the man. That a good mother makes no errors and the one with the most toys is the greatest, but we aren’t called to be the greatest.

 We and the disciples miss the mark when we aim to be better then then one another. 

“for where there is envy and selfish ambition, there will also be disorder and wickedness of every king.  But wisdom from God is pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits without a trace of partiality or hypocrisy.” 

Wisdom, the wisdom from above…that is what we are called to strive for.  God’s wisdom in everyday life.  That is where the woman of Proverbs can help us, be we male or female.  The ideals and the exact details may have changed over the years…I don’t work with wool or linen for one thing, but the concept is sound.  The woman in Proverbs is wisdom personified in every day life.

The woman of proverbs is mighty we read, and trustworthy too; doing good all the days of her life.  She is productive and seeks out opportunities for betterment of those around her.  We read that she is not idle or lazy, but provides for the future of her family.  She knows her worth, her strength, her intelligence and uses them for family, and those in need.  She is kind, wise, dignified, and brings joy to those around her. These are all things that we can do, in our own families and communities.  In all things she is God fearing and wise.

Being wise, doesn’t mean being the smartest, or the greatest.  It means knowing God and following in God’s ways…seeking to be a servant to others while still knowing your own worth.  Being wise means strengthening your relationship with God so that you have the discernment to see the path you follow and where it is leading.  To be authentically yourself, pure of heart and free of envy or selfishness.  Wisdom we are taught, is recognising that the honeyed lips and smooth talk leads to conflict and broken relationships, rather than good works and self worth.

Who is wise and understanding among you? James asks.  Well, I don’t know.  It certainly doesn’t feel like me.  Perhaps we haven’t gotten to 100% yet, but if we rephrase the question…who strives to be wise and understanding among us?  That, I pray is 100% of us…striving to achieve the wisdom from above in spite of being tempted by the wisdom of this world.

The disciples heard Jesus and did not understand and were afraid to ask, too concerned about who was greatest and perhaps what the others would think of them if they admitted their ignorance. 

A capable disciple, who can find?  They certainly didn’t come across as models of wisdom and understanding, but wisdom is gained with years of experience and understanding comes with listening.  We need not compare ourselves with others, the conflict is within ourselves.

Perhaps like those to whom Proverbs was written, we still need instruction.  Perhaps we still need wisdom and understanding, but wisdom is gained in the struggle to achieve it.  None of us live perfect lives, none of us have perfect wisdom, but we all have much to learn and that is a good thing.

Proverbs strove to teach boys how to be good men.  James tried to teach the early Church how to be wise with God’s wisdom.  Christ teaches us how to children of God, much beloved, with much to learn. amen